breaking the chains.



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"all roads lead to rome!"

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i have been lying to them.
all of them, 
my "friends"
i know who they are.
i've known some of them since they were children.
but i never told them the truth, i never could bring myself to.
who i really am...

i was ashamed. 
i was alone.
i didn't like who i was. for years i avoided looking in the mirror, scared of taking photos...
because i didn't like what looked back at me. 

and i ran away from everything. ever since then life has been a lot of running away. 

but...

life can change.
and it did.

one day i met someone, someone who would lead me down the path to breaking this facade.

someone who knew who i really was...

Karen is someone i have known since elementary school, and we would hang out sometimes. as life went on, we didn't see much of each other anymore. and i soon disappeared. 

so when this new person came along, she had suspicions that she knew who this person really was. it turns out she had this feeling for a while, dating back to my first day.

how can it be that my best friend of many many years can't seem to remember me but she can?

slowly, i had become sick of the lies. i had become sick of running away. so i told her the truth. all of it.
later, we hung out at the park and talked on the swings. the sun had fallen. 
this is when i had realized that i have found a friend. a real friend.

also i broke up with my girlfriend. i had been thinking about it for a while, and our convo put it all into perspective. 
honestly, this might seem messed up to say but i'm glad. she was kinda crazy. but to be fair, you do have to be at least a little bit insane to fall in love with someone like me. 

so it's a huge no on the whole love thing for a long while. i'd rather sleep and watch television.

Rook, my true best friend has re-entered my life. we played left 4 dead 2 and pvz gw. hanging with him reminded me of what being with friends is supposed to be like.

Rook and Karen are my friends. 

my real friends.

tommorow is the dia de los muertos event at my school, so im gonna sleep and get ready for that. 

p.s my halloween was okay, i had my first kiss (now ruined) & ate food with my family. i liked that last part. 

another thing, i will be showing my website to Karen after this post. this will be the first person in my real life to witness this side of myself.
i have told Rook also by now.

also is anybody else excited for the holiday season??? i am so happeh cuz now it gets dark early which is good for me since i am a vampire and nocturnal. :D

gonna post this tmrw morning cause my wifi is being poopy.

okok i should actually sleep

goodnighuoiwefwefuoipwefiefwiwfeknwnfasenmasmfdzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzz


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nocturnally yours,

vishnu tai-me

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